When a person gets married, they often ponder, “How often should you visit your parents after marriage?”. The answer depends on several factors, such as your relationship with your parents and the distance between your abode and theirs.
While visiting your parents is crucial regardless of life events, it often becomes challenging to do so more often. This guide will help you plan your visits to maintain a unique bond with your parents.
How Often Should You Visit Your Parents After Marriage?
As stated earlier, several factors determine the frequency of visits to your parents. They are as follows:
1. How Is The Relationship With Your Parents?
The first and foremost factor to consider is how close you are to your parents. Since every parent-child relationship is unique, the relationship determines the number of visits.
For example, if your parents are like your close friends with whom you share everything about your life, you should meet them more often. The same applies in the case of illness of either or both parents.
On the other hand, if you tend to be conservative when sharing things with your parents, you might want to visit them less often. However, if you have a bitter relationship with your parents, try to mend the broken ties as early as possible because it will be too late once they're gone.
2. How Far Do You Live From Your Parents?
Distance also matters a lot, and often, it is the only factor that makes it difficult to unite with your parents. If your residence is within their proximity, it will be easier to visit them. You can drop by their place on your way home from work.
However, if you’re far from your parent’s home, it can be challenging to visit them. If you and your parents are residing in the same country, you might plan to see them once a month. But, if you’re living in another country, you might want to visit them once a year.
3. How Busy Are You?
You might have a great relationship with their parents or even live nearby. However, if you’re snowed under with work or chores, that can be the prime factor for not visiting your parents. In that case, plan a schedule when you’ll likely have some free time to visit your parents.
On top of that, your willingness matters as well. If you’re drained from doing all the work and don’t feel like going anywhere, consider resting at your leisure. Once you feel better, you might be willing to go to your parent’s place.
4. What Are The Family Values?
Family values can also affect the number of visits. If you’ve been brought up in a close-knit family filled with love and compassion, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t want to visit your parents often.
However, if you’ve been inculcated with the idea of living an independent life, it might not bother you or your family if you rarely visit them.
5. Does Your Spouse Approve Of Your Visits?
Last but not least is your spouse’s approval. You’ll need to get your spouse’s approval to visit your parents. If your spouse supports your visits to your parents and stays at their place for a night or two, it will be easier for you to visit them more often.
According to Islam, a husband should let his wife visit her parents and relatives and not prevent her from doing so unless some harm will result from the visit. If he generally prevents her from seeing, then it can lead to a dispute between the couple.
What Are The Boundaries With Parents After Marriage?
After you get married, it can be difficult for your parents to accept that things will be different. But still, boundaries need to be set to ensure a healthy relationship with them. Here are some tips you can follow:
1. Talk To Your Parents
First, you must let your parents know how you see a particular situation, such as making unexpected visits or frequent calls. They might be doing it inadvertently without realizing it's time to stay within limits.
Your parents won’t understand unless you make it clear to them. So, discuss with your parents how you feel about those things and the importance of respecting boundaries. Don’t involve anyone else in the conversation.
2. Stand Up For Your Spouse
In Islam, spouses are encouraged to stand up for each other when an immediate family treats them unjustly. If your parents criticize your spouse, whether in their presence or not, you should stand up for your spouse. Your parents don’t know your spouse as well as you do, so it is unsuitable for them to draw conclusions.
3. Don’t Keep Complaining About Your Spouse
Another thing to keep in mind is that you don’t complain about your spouse to your parents. If you keep complaining, your parents will likely be unwilling to treat them respectfully. If you don’t appreciate certain things, such as bad habits, it is always a good idea to let your spouse know.
Likewise, you should encourage your spouse to only talk to you about things they don’t appreciate about you.
4. Be Independent
If you’re living under the same roof as your parents, they might find it difficult to respect your set boundaries. But, if you live in a separate house away from your parents, they might understand the need for boundaries.
5. Respect Your Parents
While setting boundaries, you must clarify that you still love and respect your parents. You’re setting boundaries so your relationship with your spouse remains unaffected by your parents’ actions.
It is natural for someone to set boundaries after getting married because the situation after marriage doesn’t stay how it used to be.
FAQ
1. How Often Is Normal To See Your Parents?
It is expected to visit your parents once a week. However, if your situation, such as stress or workload, doesn’t allow you to see them every week, you might consider visiting them once a month. Parents should understand your reasons for not being able to visit them often.
2. How Often Should Wife Visit Her Parents?
According to Islam, there is no limit to how often a wife should visit her parents or relatives. She is permitted to make visits depending on her circumstances.
One of the best Islamic marriage websites, NobleMarriage, also suggests that a wife can visit her parents whenever she wants.
3. How Do I Keep My Parents Happy After Marriage?
Your relationship with your parents after marriage shouldn’t be affected. They need not feel to be left out.
You can spend time with them in your leisure to keep them happy. You can either start a video call or visit them. Whenever you visit, taking gifts or their favorite cuisine with you can put a massive smile on their faces. They will feel that you still care about them.
Also, staying by your parents’ side in case of any medical or financial emergency will be greatly appreciated.
4. Should A Wife Come Before Family?
As a Muslim, you shouldn’t prioritize one person over the other. That is because Islam teaches us to achieve balance and moderation. Regarding your wife and family (your parents), balancing your duties towards them is essential. Consequently, it will reduce the chances of priority conflicts.
Final Thoughts
When you were younger, your parents might have gone to great lengths only to ensure your happiness. But roles change when you grow up as an adult. Regardless of marital status, it is your responsibility to take care of your aging parents and keep them company at times.
So, how often should you visit your parents after marriage? By reading this guide, you have already planned your visits.
