When someone close to us passes away, there’s little time to grieve. There seem to be many things to do and complex matters to settle. Things like notifying their bank, terminating subscriptions, dealing with undertakers, choosing a cremation urn that’s worthy of holding the ashes, disposing of personal goods, arranging memorials, dealing with lawyers, and unravelling the complexities of probate, occupy your time.
Although the pain of your loss strikes you from time to time, you simply don’t have room to grieve properly until all these things are settled. Only once you have time on your hands, it hits you. By now, all the condolences and offers of support have dried up. The memorial service is over, you have time on your hands, and the total weight of your loss strikes you for the first time.
Use these very personal ways to celebrate your departed loved one’s life and remember them as they would have wanted to be remembered.
1. Frame a Photo of Them in Their Prime
Very few people want to be remembered for their last days, especially if they are frail and ill. Enshrine the memory of a vibrant person by framing a photograph of them at their best. They’re smiling, happy, and full of the joy of life. That’s the person you loved, and that’s how they would want you to think of them.Although nothing can erase the trauma you experienced if you were present during their final hours, your framed photo will remind you of who they were. In time, it will become the image that springs to mind when you think of them.
2. Limit the Memorabilia to a Few Special Items
Although you might have inherited a few special heirlooms, it’s often the simple things that most poignantly recall the people we loved. There’s just one problem: it can be really hard to get rid of the mountain of things that aren’t particularly valuable but remind you of the person you lost.They wouldn’t want to burden you or have you living in something like a museum of their lives. Choose a few simple items and dispose of the rest. Pick something they loved or often used. Keep it minimalist but meaningful.
3. When you’re Feeling Down, Remember the Good Times
Don’t let anyone fool you. Grief doesn’t go away. It only becomes softer over time. When you’re experiencing haunting memories that hurt, try thinking of the best times you had together instead. There will be many, and it’s these memories you should treasure most. What they consist of depends on you and your deceased loved one’s life.Allow your grief to be tinged with the light they brought into your life. Relive how you felt at the best of times instead of the worst ones. Allow yourself to remember happiness together instead of focusing on the time of parting.
4. Make a Private Celebration
After a loss, special days like birthdays or Christmas can be hard to deal with. Think of the person you lost and how they’d like you to celebrate them. Raise a glass. Go for a walk in the countryside. Serve their favourite dish. It’s between you and your memory; nobody else needs to know why you’re doing it. Do them proud!It may seem strange to speak of celebrating life after death has taken someone special away, but their lives made them special to you. The most important memorial to a loved one isn’t anything tangible. Instead, it's the memories you choose to cherish.
