 |
| Marriage |
For the longest time, you have dwelled in the fantasy of romance. That once you are married to your lover, everything falls in place. You’d wake up next to the sweet sight of your partner’s face; you would be taking long walks under a starry night and many such flowery ideas.
However, reality begs to differ. When you marry your lover, you learn a whole lot about them. And you realise a lot of things you didn't know about them. Good habits are fine, appreciable even. But when your partner leaves the towel on the bed or leaves the dishes undone, you sense your blood boiling and love isn’t enough to contain it in.
The human psychology is unpredictable. However, numbers don’t lie. Global divorce rate, as per studies, show a 251.8% increase since 1960. There could be an ocean of reasons leading to a divorce.
But today, we are going to look into some habits in particular that will definitely push your wedlock to divorce.
Bad Habits that lead marriages to divorce
1. Addictions
You need to understand that once you are married, the only addiction that is justifiable is the one to your partner. Well, not really, but you get the point. Addiction to gambling, drugs, alcohol, and even cigarettes can lead to divorce. Almost 50% of all marriages in America lead to a divorce and addiction to harmful substances or habits are a key trigger behind these stats.Be it spending long hours on the social media platforms, or more severe forms of addiction like drug abuse, alcoholism, or tobacco cigarette smoking, the addictions can really take a toll on the relationship. While it is not possible to give up on these suddenly, you can definitely work your way and put a bit of discipline to keep the cravings away.
There are therapies and rehabs for alcohol and gambling addictions. Similarly, for smoking addiction, you could try out alternatives like e-cigarettes. The best part is that they can be controlled to gradually bring down the level of addiction without the risk of a relapse. These variants of nicotine e-juices can help with cigarette addictions the smart way.
When starting off, you can maintain regular levels. But as you keep getting used to it, you get the option to lower the nicotine e-juices intake and eventually move to zero nicotine smoking – a much healthier substitute to harmful traditional smoking.
2. Gaps in communication
Well, this is far too often among married couples. When you just start dating, you just cannot get enough of your partner. Issues are resolved relatively faster because there is so much communication happening.But as time passes, and as the burdens of responsibilities weigh down on the individual, couples fall off the know-zone. They don’t know what clearly is happening in their spouse’s life because they are just too caught up trying to balance their own. The frequency of couples falling off after marriage is as high as a divorce every 13 seconds in America.
It is therefore not a futile claim to say that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.
3. Intimacy Issues
These are really hard to get over. Once a couple is married, intimacy is one of the prime factors of keeping the bond glued together. Lack of intimacy results from various factors like lack of acceptance, lack of communication, or the classic case of “not in the mood.”Usually, couples that fail to communicate about intimacy end up failing their marriage. Intimacy is more than a guessing game. It needs to be spoken out. And if something is not going right, your spouse has every right to know about it.
Couples in Australia are more likely to divorce in the age group 25-29. After that, divorce rates seem to dip and slightly peak only at the 40s. Getting over these peak zones with healthy conversations about intimacy can save your wedding.
4. Lack of individuality
This is more of an outcome of being too much in love with a person. When you love your partner too much, you look to them as your emotional drivers. You look at them when you are low and expect them to uplift your drooping mood. Or you may even reach out to them when ecstatic, wanting to calm yourself.That is a bad sign. You, at the end of it all, are an individual, and your moods are your responsibility. When you are cranky and are having a bad day at work, your partner has nothing to do in it. Your spouse is the same person doing the same things he/she always does. Venting out on them is a habit that could lead to your marriage’s doom.
5. Money could cause its own share of problems
When a couple marries, the finances are pitched collectively. Though love may be a strong factor that led to marriage, it may not be as tangible as money. Lack of love may not show, but lack of money definitely does. And when only one partner seems to pitch in a major share of expenses, it leads to divorces.The ideal solution to this is couples who live together before getting married. When you live with a person, you understand behavioural patterns. You truly understand a person, and how the person is about money. Bearing the advantages in mind, there has been a 16% increase in the number of couples who live in together.
There is fine line between frugality and miser. Being miser and using arguments that begin with “my money” is a bad habit.
6. Fight fair
Fights are something a couple cannot get away with, no matter how perfect the relationship. What a marriage depends upon is how well the couple fights. Fair fights are good; needed even.But if only one partner seems to be doing all the apologizing, then the marriage is abusive.
The couple needs to understand that a fight arises due to situations in life, and situations in life are subjective. That does not define your spouse of their character. The sooner a couple understands this, the longer they last.
7. Forget minor disputes
Keeping a grudge on your spouse is a petty thing to do. You both have vowed to be with each other through good times and bad. So what does it matter if your partner leaves the shoes unpolished or the sheets undone? Have a healthy conversation about it and try to change behaviour that bothers.Couples that keep a grudge over such matters and constantly keep score of what their partners did, merely to justify their shortcomings display a very bad habit that inevitably ends up with filing for divorce.
Reaching the end
In conclusion, the sustenance of your marriage rests in your hands. One has to respect and accept all that comes with their partner. Owing to a lot of communication and right strategies being implemented, the divorce rate in Australia has fallen incredibly.The divorce rate in Australia is at its all-time-low since 1976 and can be attributed to healthy communication and understanding.
