#UthandoneSthembu ‘s Mamkhulu (First Wife) on the show and being in a polygamous relationship



Their reality show Uthando neSthembu showing how they navigate a polygamous relationship premiered on Mzansi Magic yesterday and it trended. The reactions to the show have been mostly great, so DRUM decided to chat to the woman who was there when it all began, the first wife Mamkhulu.


So Mamkhulu, the show aired, what were you feeling before it aired?


I was nervous and also excited. And I am happy that so far, so good.


When we spoke to your husband Musa, he said that the intention that you had as a family was to show people how to live in a polygamous relationship and not abuse it, was that your intention as well when you agreed to do the show?


Yes, we wanted to show people that it can be done and even though it isn’t easy you can live happily as a family if you do it correctly.


So when Musa married you, did you know that he would take on other wives? Was that part of the deal?


Initially he would joke about it and over time he then expressed his intention to take another wife and be in a polygamous relationship and we worked through it and now we are here.


When you realised that he was serious about it and that you had to ‘share’ your man, didn’t you first think of leaving him and starting afresh with someone else?


It wasn’t something that happened overnight that all of a sudden we were in a polygamous relationship, it took time and it was a hard decision, especially given the fact that I didn’t come from that background.


How did you then make it work if that’s something you didn’t come from and were not foreseeing?


Well the first thing was I took my marriage vows seriously, so in good and bad and all that we promised each other, I took to heart, and that cancelled out divorce. It wasn’t in my mind. So we decided to make it work, but with conditions…


Conditions?


Yes! I told Musa if I was going to compromise then so must he. I stayed I wanted my own private house and I didn’t want to share houses with the other wives, that way it makes things work.


Okay, so Musa says that he has a schedule to making it work, do you have a schedule or a way you make it work?


I have my own house and so do the other women and we are not always in each other’s face. The only one I see is often is Makhumalo (Third Wife) because we run the family businesses together.


So for you polygamy is working?


All I can say is this depends on individuals to make it work. I am not telling people how to live, its all about individuals.


Now that the show is airing how do you feel?


I am okay, people started recognizing me from some of the promos Mzansi Magic has been playing and it’s so weird people knowing you from TV, but no complaints so far.


Musa said that the show shows the real side of your lives, would you agree?


Definitely. Everything is real and people will see it, when I am not happy or anything I say it and people will see all that and more.