Ever fantasized about being spanked, playing dress up or using se_x toys during se_x? These are some of the acts that people would love to do but are too afraid to tell their partner.

A recent study by relationship charity Relate found that less than half of people are satisfied with their se_x life, and 51 per cent had not had se_x in the last month.
Could a se_x menu save your love life?
Se_x expert Dr Stephen de Wit suggests taking twenty minutes to be completely open with yourself, and create a detailed list of turn-ons.

The list is a menu of what a person loves, hates, and would be up for trying during foreplay and se_x.

Dorothy Black shared an example of what a se_x menu might look like:
- Things I’m into: oral se_x, penetrative se_x, cuddles, massages, open relationships.
- Things I’m curious about: threesomes, bondage, role-play.
- Things I’m definitely not into: humiliation play, monogamy, watersports.

According to Dr de Wit the menu should include turn-ons and positions, from holding hands to bondage, cross-dressing and caning.
"There will be things on the list that turn you on tremendously and some that you’ll say ‘Oh Hells No’ or think something is gross. That is perfectly ok that you are not comfortable with it at this time of your life and it may be something that turns someone else on."
The Daily Star noted that this simple exercise enables a person to build awareness about their body, and to take the time to consider what they enjoy, and how best to share this information with future partners.
Peter Saddington, a se_x therapist from the Midlands said that while a se_x menu is a good guide, it should still be perceived as flexible. 
“How and whether you want to have se_x is affected by that day and the relationship. There are questions you need to consider each time you are being se_xual. Just because something worked last time, it doesn’t mean a person wants it a second time.”
Saddington suggests that discussing the actions will help ensure you are talking about the same thing and will enable you to see if the partner is willing to explore or at least meet you half way.