10 South African women shared what they enjoy and what they would prefer their partners to focus on.


1. I never get enough of the nipples – Mandisa, 27

I love it when he pays attention to the nipples. If I am with a partner who does not, I get down to business on my own. I use my hands.

2. He needs to mix it up – Nomasa, 24

I get very bored easily. I have been in a stable relationship for four years so sometimes, things can get dull. I like it when he keeps me guessing. He can alternate between kissing and touching and that sparks my interest.

3. I give pleasure to get pleasured – Ayanda, 30

It might sound funny but I get turned on when I give my husband head. When I find it difficult to get wet, I ask him to lie down and I do my thing. For some reason, knowing I am pleasuring him works for me.

4. Words work – Linda, 29

In my case, I love dirty talk. I like it when he whispers naughty things in my ears during foreplay. Telling me how hot I look and how much he wants me is enough to get me there.

5. I reach for the lube – Thabiseng, 29

Sometimes, I feel so much pressure to get wet that it kills the mood. So we just go straight to using lubricant. This way, I can focus on my own pleasure, which actually ends up making me relax enough to get wet.

6. Slow and Steady – Pearl, 23

My boyfriend takes his time and that is one of the things I love about him. Rushing has never worked for me. He focuses on my hot zones and makes sure I feel every single touch. Really erotic.

7. When in doubt, use the mouth – Pam, 22

I love oral. I cannot get enough. And that’s a good thing because my boyfriend simply loves giving it. It is the way to my heart.

8. As long as I love him – Andiswa, 27

What I have learnt is that I cannot get turned on if I don’t have feelings for my man. Or if I feel upset or mad at him. I need that emotional connection to get turned on so when I don’t, I know there is something off emotionally, not physically.

9. It doesn’t take much – Amanda, 26

It really does not take much for me to get wet, this is why I am a big fan of quickies. I am usually ready as long as I am attracted to my partner.

10. The magic fingers – Sindisiwe, 27

He can do every single thing right but if he is not good with his fingers, it is all a waste of time. I love being fingered so much I can even orgasm that way. It is the only foreplay move I care about.