1. Don't Beat Yourself Up
Please don't feel horrible about yourself because you like him. Having a crush on someone you're not supposed to like doesn't make you an awful person. If you acted on it secretly, that would be bad. But just wanting a friend's boyfriend is not a crime. It's not ideal, but it's not something that brands you as a wrong person. Remember that we can't always control our feelings, and we can't always help who we like. Plus, you and your bestie are close for a reason - it almost makes sense that you would like the same guy she does.
2. Realize That Making A Move Will Probably Ruin Your Friendship
I know that there may be times when you're tempted to flirt or even make a move on this guy, especially if he flirts with you too. But remember that doing anything with him while he's with your friend will ruin your friendship forever. I don't know many girls who would continue to be best friends with a girl who stole their boyfriend. Is it really worth it? The answer is probably no.
3. Avoid Being Alone With Him
To save your friendship and your sanity, don't put yourself in a situation where you're alone with this guy. It will only make things harder for you. And if he flirts with you two, it is a recipe for disaster. If you can, avoid being alone with him as much as possible.
4. Avoid Being Around The Two Of Them Together
You should also avoid being around the two of them together. This might be hard - even impossible if your BFF is always with him. But for at least a while, you're trying to get over him, don't be around them, even if that means losing some time with your bestie. Seeing them together will make you feel unfortunate, angry and jealous, which won't help you move on.
5. Try To Figure Out Exactly Why You Like Him
Take a minute to think about why you like this guy. What about him makes you have a crush? Is it his personality? His looks? The way he treats your friend? Pinpoint the thing you like about him and look for it in someone else. Or consider that it could even be a jealousy thing. Sometimes when we see someone close to us really happy with someone, we want that in our lives too. You might like the idea of this guy more than you actually like him. One other thing to consider: are you and your best friend competitive? If you have a competitive friendship, you could be trying to compete with her for this guy without even realizing it. If that's the case, let it go.
6. Try To Focus On Someone or Something Else
Another way to get over someone is to put your energy and focus into someone, or something, else. Distracting yourself might really work. Distracting yourself might really work. When trying to move on from a crush, I put all of my energy into something, whether it's work, school, or a hobby. You can also look for similar qualities in other guys to find a new crush who will take your mind off your friend's BF.
7. Don't Tell Her Right Away
I know that honesty is essential in any relationship, and you probably feel guilty about not telling your BFF something this big. But if you have no idea what's going to happen with you and this guy, or if you have no intention of taking things further, then telling her is a bad idea. It's likely to ruin your friendship. If you have no sense of being with him, why tell her? I know that sounds wrong, but sometimes some things are better left unsaid.
8. Think About Who Matters More
If you need clarification about what to do, think about what matters more to you: your best friend or a guy you don't even have a future with? I'll be honest and say that you should always choose a friend. Relationships are often temporary, especially ones that start like this. A friend could be forever, especially a best friend. Are you willing to throw a close friendship away to try to be with a guy? I mean, if you are, that's your decision. But really, really think about it.
9. Don't Do Anything That Would Make It Possible To Cross A Line
This means no flirting, alone time, online messaging, or trying to find out how he feels about you. Don't put yourself in a bad situation. Don't make it possible to be with him in a sexual way. If you want to be with this guy, you need to tell your friend - don't go behind her back and betray her.
10. Only Talk To Her If It's Getting Out Of Control
Here's when you tell your friend how you feel: if you hook up with her BF, if he says he likes you two and you guys decide you want to be together, or if you're so in love with him that you know you can't be quiet about it. In these cases, being honest with her is the most respectful thing you can do. It will be a tough conversation, but if that's what you feel you must do, then... you have to do it.
