My now fiancee did finally propose, on our two year anniversary. I was so excited after the proposal, I quickly threw out a date that was six months from the propsal date. He agreed, but did not voice too many opinions or oppositions after that. Therefore, planning was in full force, and we were set to get married in October of 2015. One month before the wedding, he says that we should postpone the wedding. I agreed because the stress from planning the wedding, paired with my mom getting really sick, had taken a little bit of a toll on our relationship. We weren’t having sex, or enjoying time together like we did before we got engaged.
After postponing the wedding, we chose a new date in May 2016. We said we would work on some of the concerns we had and get set for the May wedding date. On February 28th, he said that not enough has changed, meaning neither of us were at the point where he felt we needed to be, to follow through with the May 2016 wedding date. I couldn’t help but agree, because while I love and care for him, and the core values are there, we got wrapped up in work, and stress, and forgot how to have fun together. Our sex life is still also lacking.
So even with the wedding being called off and everything cancelled, he does not want to break up. He wants to work on things, stay engaged, and focus on getting our relationship back where in needs to be so that we can get married and move forward with our lives together.
I am okay with working on it, but in the back of my mind, I am in so much pain. First, a proposal, then a postponed wedding, and now a cancelled wedding. I don’t want to appear to be some sort of doormat, and want to know if I should stay, and if so, for how long?
When should I say enough is enough, and when should he really know if this is going the distance or a lost cause for us?
