The letter ... 
Good Morning Shirley & Steve!
I’m a 23-year-old working woman who is madly in love with her 27-year-old working man with whom I’ve been with for over three years.
One day, I went out with my friends and I drunk more alcohol than I was suppose to. Once I came home, I started to get sick and passed out. In the middle of the night, my boyfriend woke me up and told me to clean myself up. Confused, I asked him why. He says because we just had sex. Of course, I had no knowledge of it because I passed out because of the late night drinking.
The next morning, I asked what happened the night before. He says that he came home, saw me in bed and wanted to have sex. He said I didn’t move or talk but just thought I was really tired. (Even though there was a tall trashcan right beside the bed and apparently my head was halfway in it). Would you consider this a sexual assault? How can I tell him without hurting him, or scaring him to think that I’m labeling him as a “rapist."
Steve's advice:
"This is kinda a tough one for a man to answer because we've all done this. Tried it anyway. All of us. I done actually tried to Army climb from up from under the bed trying to get to it...We've all tried it. It's called the sneak-attack...
Y'all live together. He told you what he did. He woke you up to make sure you got cleaned up. He told you what he did. A person who did something that they think is really wrong is usually in denial about it. Did he rape you in my estimation - NO. Because you all have had [sex]."